Hunger (Jane Thornton Book 1) Read online

  My hands balled into two small fists. For the first time since I’d met him, I wished I could speak. I would tell him he didn’t have to worry about me because I was leaving soon. A tiny voice inside my head said, or maybe you would tell him not to worry because he already had your trust.

  “We okay?” he asked.

  I didn’t know what that meant exactly. What I did know was that he had no reason to feel badly about what had happened. To ease his mind, I nodded.

  Bringing up my knees, I wrapped my arms around my legs, then rested my head on them as I looked at Mason. Eyes twinkling with mischief once again, he slid closer, until only inches separated us. I hid my grin against my legs when he pushed his shoulder into mine, causing me to sway. The grin turned to a full-blown smile when he did it a little harder. My hand shot out, catching myself before I toppled over. Bottom lip caught between my teeth, I sat up and pushed him back. He barely moved. But he did chuckle sweetly. His eyes, the color of autumn, I realized, squinted a bit and crinkled in the corners when he smiled. A smile that was damn contagious.

  “Wimpy,” he teased.

  My shoulders rose and fell with silent laughter, and I shook my head.

  “Hardly,” a deep voice declared.

  My smile instantly dropped as Kaden stepped inside the barn. He halted next to us, his gaze jumping between us before settling on me. When they narrowed, I scooted away from Mason.

  I liked Mason. He was nice. Annoying, but sweet. Kaden, I wasn’t sure about. He was as hot as Mason, that was for damn sure. And I could tell he was a nice guy. However, I got the distinct feeling he didn’t like me. Not only could I feel his disapproval, but he’d yet to look at me without scowling. Another reason for me to leave them alone. It made no sense. If he didn’t want me around, why had he forced me to come with them? And why did he do nice things for me? Like, lend me his blanket at night? Or offer me the first choice at dinner? The man was a conundrum.

  “You have to admit, she was pretty bad ass,” Mason replied. Then to me, he asked, “How did you learn to throw a knife like that?”

  I shrugged and reached for my can of soup.

  “It wasn’t bad ass,” Kaden argued. “It was stupid.”

  “Kaden,” Mason warned.

  “I had the situation under control,” he stated to my bowed head. “If you had just waited, I could have taken care of them. What you did was dangerous and could have gotten us all killed.”

  The cold soup sliding down my throat turned to cement. I choked, then coughed.

  “You okay?” Mason patted my back but I shrugged him off.

  Not hungry anymore, I left the can in my spot when I stood, then made my way to a dry corner of the barn to make a place to settle down.

  “That was shitty.” Mason’s harsh voice was hushed. “You need to apologize.”

  Kaden responded with one of his grunts.

  Digging through my bag, I found an extra coat and a small pillow. My quilt had been destroyed in the house fire. My shoulders rounded, remembering. It was just a damn blanket, I told myself. Wiping my nose on my sleeve, I sat up straight.

  It’s the way things are now. Everything gets destroyed or taken away.

  I caught Kaden watching me, and I looked away to slide on my coat.

  “It’s almost dark. Let’s get the fire going,” Mason sighed.

  I would have helped, but Mason waved me away. When they were finished, he tried coaxing me to join them by the fire. I refused. The thought, three’s a crowd, flitted through my mind.

  While leaning against the wall, eyes closed, I pondered my escape. Was escape the right word? They hadn’t held me captive. Not really. If I wasn’t their captive, then how did I go about just leaving? Should I tell them, or just get up and walk out? Wait until they’re asleep? I thought of Kaden’s hurtful words. Definitely walk out, I decided. He deserved to watch my ass leave, knowing he was one of biggest reasons why.

  Footsteps came closer before stopping next to me. Without opening my eyes, I took a deep breath through my nose. The smell of smoke mingled with an earthy scent I now associated with Kaden.

  The air moved as he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice coming from lower than I expected. I opened my eyes to see him crouching next to me, his blue gaze level with mine.

  A deep v formed between his brows. “You did what you had to do. You saved Mason and yourself. We owe you. Most people wouldn’t have been able to go that far.”

  I tilted my head, not understanding. He’d said I’d almost got them killed.

  My face must have given away my confusion because he nodded. “I only said what I did because I was angry. At myself. When I saw you and Mason being held by those men, it should have caused me to act. My instinct should have been to take those guys out. I wanted to. It killed me to see you two like that. But… I froze,” he confessed.

  He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the motions, then his voice lowered. “It was like seeing what happened to my family all over again.” He hung his head, his breathing ragged as he was doing his best to hold himself together.

  Surprised by how much he’d just opened up to me, I laid a shaky palm on the back of his head and stroked his hair as he took deep measured breaths. I wanted to ask him about his family. What had happened? Had he been there? But without a voice, I couldn’t. And if I used sign language, he’d turn the questions around on me. Now wasn’t the time.

  Lifting his head, he gave me a sad smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

  I nodded my acceptance of his apology, then smiled when he held out a hand. I took it, and let him lead me to the fire to join Mason, who was leaning back against his pack, staring into the flames as if he hadn’t heard the one-sided conversation between Kaden and me.

  Using my pack, I laid sideways, facing the flames. The heat warmed my cheeks and caused my eyes to flutter shut.

  “Are you hungry?” Mason asked me. “You didn’t eat much earlier.”

  My gaze landed on Kaden. Of course, he’d been staring right back at me from across the fire.

  “I warmed up a can for you,” Mason continued.

  When I nodded, he set it down in front of me with a spoon. I took a bite and would have moaned had it been possible. Warm soup. Mmm.

  Mason chuckled. “From the look on your face, I’m assuming it tastes good?”

  I nodded quickly and took another bite. Within minutes I’d finished the can.

  “If you could have anything to eat, what would it be?” he asked.

  I shrugged.

  “Hmmm,” he hummed. “I’d have pizza. An extra-large, loaded with pepperoni and sausage.”

  The three of us were silent as we thought about the heavenly pie he’d described.

  “I’d have biscuits covered in sausage gravy, and a side of eggs and hash browns,” Kaden said, playing along.

  I pointed at him and nodded, my eyes rounding so he’d know I agreed with him. The corners of his eyes crinkled. Was he smiling? I couldn’t tell from my spot. The flames hid half his face.

  “That’s what you’d have too?” Mason asked me.

  Nodding, I laid my hands on my stomach and sighed. Biscuits and gravy were my favorite breakfast food. They were good for dinner too.

  “Pancakes,” Mason said.

  “With real maple syrup,” Kaden added.

  Mason moaned. “Mmm, yeah. Dripping with melted butter.”

  My stomach growled causing the men to chuckle. I smiled and shook my head.

  “Bacon,” Mason continued. Was he ever going to stop? “And sweet tea. Damn, I’d love some tea.”

  With my belly half-full of soup and the fire keeping me toasty warm, exhaustion set in and I yawned. My eyes fluttered shut again. Mason continued to list all the foods and drinks he missed and hoped to have again, while I tried to ignore his words and let his voice become nothing but white noise. I nestled my back against my bag and began to drift off. But when he start
ed naming his all-time favorite restaurants, I sighed.

  A bark of laughter made me jump, and my eyes flew open in surprise. No longer on the other side of the fire, Kaden now stood next to my feet, and he was laughing. Shoulders jerking and eyes shining, he turned his smile in my direction. A beautiful smile that caused my breath to catch.

  “What’s so funny?” Mason asked.

  “Now you know what I’ve been putting up with for months,” Kaden said, his amused eyes still on me.

  Not understanding his meaning, my brows furrowed and I began to shake my head.

  “What are you talking about?” Mason’s brows were furrowed as he looked back and forth between Kaden and me, but I didn’t have an answer for him.

  Smile softening, Kaden lifted his hands and signed the same sentence he’d spoken. “Now you know what I’ve been putting up with for months.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. I jerked my gaze to his. He still smiled, his eyes reflecting amusement and something new. Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to see.

  I looked back down at his hands as he began signing again. “You asked Mason if he ever shut up.”

  Hand over my mouth, I glanced at Mason. He was still looking at us, his expression one of utter confusion

  “Uh, is she deaf?” He turned to ask me, enunciating each word slowly. “Are. You. Deaf?”

  I began to shake my head no, but Kaden beat me to the punch.

  “No, not deaf. Mute.”

  I nodded, yes.

  “Wow,” Mason muttered. “That explains why you haven’t made a single sound since we met you. Were you born mute? I have so many questions.”

  With a sigh, I nodded again.

  “How about we let…” Kaden tilted his head. “What’s your name?”

  “Jane,” I signed.

  He graced me with another one of his smiles. I locked the image in my mind. I had a feeling those smiles were rare.

  “Jane,” he repeated for Mason’s sake. “Let Jane get some rest. You can ask her your questions tomorrow.”

  The childlike pout on Mason’s face would have made me grin, but a yawn took me by surprise. His pout disappeared. “You’re right.” He stood quickly. “Come on. Bedtime, Jane.”

  My arms flailed as I found myself being hauled up into his arms. Wide-eyed, I clutched at his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall. At first, I was surprised, then indignant. Who gave him permission to touch me? I didn’t need help walking. But as I registered the feeling of his arm beneath my thighs and the hand at my side, my anger melted away. He was warm and smelled like a man. Okay, he didn’t smell fresh, but it wasn’t all bad. He also smelled like camp fire and outdoors.

  Fingers brushed the edge of my breast and I jerked. With the fire behind him, his face was now in shadow, but the desire in his heavy-lidded gaze was as clear as day. His arms tightened around me as I shivered.

  “Here we are,” he said, his voice turning to gravel.

  I stood on shaky legs, refusing eye contact as I looked for my bag.

  “Here.” Bag in hand, Kaden stood next to Mason, his gaze dark as he looked down at me. That beautiful smile was long gone.

  Taking the bag, I took a step back and gave them both a nod. Kaden turned on his heels and walked away without another word. My gaze stuck like glue to his back until he reached the other side of the barn where it was too dark for me to see him.

  “I know I said this before, but I’m sorry about your blanket,” Mason said, catching my attention. “You can have my sleeping bag if you’d like.”

  I waved away his offer. Again. Each night one of the guys would offer their sleeping bag, but I’d refuse, then wake up warm nevertheless, covered with a fleece blanket I hadn’t gone to sleep with. No matter how many times I’d try to give that blasted blanket back, the guys would wait until I fell asleep to cover me again. It had become a little game of sorts. I shouldn’t be so stubborn. But I couldn’t help it. Every time I turned around I became more indebted to them. As soon as possible I needed to find supplies.

  “Sure?” Mason asked. “We could share?” Though his voice teased, it also held a hint of hope.

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head no.

  “Can’t blame a guy for asking.” He shrugged. Gaze darkening once again, his smile slipped. “If you need anything, Jane, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  Oh, damn. I could think of something I needed right now. I looked behind Mason to see Kaden sitting by the fire. Though his eyes were on the bright orange flames, I had the strangest feeling he was watching our exchange. And though I was seriously attracted to Mason, I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

  Looking back at the sexy man in front of me, I gave him a soft smile, hoping he’d catch the thanks, but no thanks. He nodded, his expression saying he got it. Then he went back to the fire with Kaden.

  Laying down, I stared at the two men as they began to converse. They were both good men. Which was damn hard to come by these days. And they were sexy to boot. I didn’t have a problem with sex. And Mason was interested. But… If we hooked up, I had no doubt Kaden would blow a gasket. Though I wasn’t sure why. My mind screamed that maybe he was interested in me too. He had given me a few once overs. I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right!

  Then my brain took me on a journey to a world I’d never imagined. A world where Mason and Kaden both wanted me. And I wanted them. And we acted on it.

  I closed my eyes, letting my imagination take me on a wild ride as I fell into a deep sleep.

  6

  My eyes fluttered open, wondering what had woken me. In my corner of darkness, I let my eyes adjust to the muted blue moonlight that streamed through the hole in the center of the roof. The clouds must have cleared at some point. The guys had stomped out the fire, and the air held a slight chill. Not as cold as the day before.

  With his back facing me, Mason lay on his side few feet away between me and the barn door, sound asleep. Sitting up, I looked down at the blanket that pooled in my lap and grinned. As I rubbed the soft fabric between my fingers, I raised my head to listen. My brows furrowed when the sound reached my ears. Singing. Someone was singing.

  The dirt floor was cool beneath my bare feet as I tiptoed around Mason. The closer I got to the front of the barn, the clearer the voice became. Careful not to be seen, I leaned against the doorframe, my eyes focusing on the man bathed in moonlight. I shouldn’t have been surprised at what I saw. Though I’d never heard him sing, I’d recognized his voice immediately. He sat on a fallen log next to the barn, his gaze on the woods in front of him. Absently, his hands moved, whittling a small piece of wood with a pocket knife. I gave the action a cursory glance before my attention went back to his face.

  Deep and dark as the night, his voice rose and fell, gaining intensity as he neared the chorus. I recognized the lyrics as The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. But the mournful way he sang it was like nothing I’d ever heard. Though he was holding back, each note barely more than a whisper, the passion behind each word that fell from his lips had me leaning heavily against the doorframe. I’d never heard anything so beautiful in all my life.

  A mixture of sadness and longing creased his expression, luring me in. And the way his lips formed each word caused my longing to increase. My stomach clenched as an ache spread across my lower extremities.

  I soaked in everything about the moment, until the last word was sung, a haunting refrain that lingered in the air and wrapped around my heart. As the night quieted, tears splashed to my cheeks one by one. And yet, as the silent tears stained my skin, my breathing had become shallow, and my nipples beaded beneath my warm flannel shirt. Eyes glued to his face, I sucked on my bottom lip and took slow measured breaths through my nose.

  I must have made a noise because he slowly turned his head in my direction. I would have expected him to be surprised to find me watching him. But he didn’t look it. His eyes, as haunted as the song he’d just sang, met mine and held. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t act as if to get up.
He didn’t move a single muscle. Didn’t even blink. And yet… As if he’d shouted my name and demanded me to come to him, I found myself moving in his direction.

  Maybe it had been the full moon, or maybe it had been the song, but the air was heavy with desire, drawing us together like magnets. His fingers were cool against my heated skin as they skimmed my shoulders, taking my shirt with them. His lips followed, the touch whisper light. My belly trembled when he reached for the snap of my jeans. And when I stood naked before him, I didn’t feel the chill in the air or the icy breeze that claimed the autumn night. Only the heat of his stare, my desire, and my frustration as it increased with each heartbeat.

  Hot, wet heat enveloped my nipple sending me rocking back on my heels. Kaden gripped my hips pulling me back before sliding one palm over my backside as he worked on the opening of his pants. I basked in his touch, in the way he kissed and suckled at my breasts. Then I was astride him, the steel length of him pressing at my weeping center.

  Not able to wait another second, I grasped him in my hand, giving him one long stroke before placing him at my entrance. He moaned, long and low as I took him inside me with slow deliberate movements. Inch by glorious inch, he filled me perfectly, causing my eyes to roll back in pleasure.

  Our eyes met, and my grip on his shoulders tightened, the feel of fabric beneath my fingers unsatisfactory. I yanked at his shirt, pulling it up and over his head so that my naked breasts pressed against his flesh. The intensity in his gaze was too unnerving, so I lifted up, wanting to bring us only pleasure. I didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or the regret I would undoubtedly feel. I didn’t want to think about anything. Nothing but pleasure.

  His fingers dug into my ass, and my lips parted on a gasp as he forced me back down on his cock. My pelvis titled, grinding against him until my clit found the friction it craved. The fabric of his pants rubbing against my thighs only heightened my sensitivity.

  I lifted up, and he pulled me back down. Over and over again we played the game. Until the tension pulled tight, ready to break. But it held strong, and I gritted my teeth, moving my hips faster.